I remember everything about that round. Not because it was beautiful golf — it wasn't. It was the kind of round that would make a swing coach cry. But it was my round, and on hole 18, standing over a 4-footer for bogey, I knew exactly what number I was shooting.
89.
If I made this putt.
The Math Starts Early
Here's what nobody tells you about breaking a scoring barrier: you start counting way too early. For me, it was the 11th hole. I'd had a rare stretch of pars — three in a row, which in my game is roughly equivalent to a hole-in-one — and my brain decided to fire up the calculator.
"Okay, I'm +8 through 10. If I bogey every remaining hole, that's +16. That's... 88."
This is the moment where the round either falls apart or you somehow hold it together through sheer willpower and carefully managed ignorance.
The Back Nine Death Spiral
Here's the problem with knowing your score: every shot suddenly carries the weight of your entire golf career. That approach shot that would normally be a casual 7-iron becomes the most important shot you've ever hit.
I promptly chunked it into the front bunker.
Holes 11 through 14 were a blur of bogeys and one beautiful, blessed par on a short par-3 where I somehow stuck an 8-iron to 10 feet and two-putted like a professional. My playing partner said "nice par" and I responded with something between a grunt and a whimper.
On 15, I doubled. The math got ugly. I now needed to play the last three holes in no worse than +3. For a mid-90s golfer, that's living on the edge.
The Text I Almost Sent
On the 16th tee, I pulled out my phone to text my buddy. He's the one who got me into golf, the one who'd been listening to me complain about breaking 90 for two years. I typed:
"Think I might break 90 today"
And then I deleted it. Because I know how this works. You say it out loud and the golf gods punish you. You put it in writing and you might as well add an extra 10 strokes to your score. The text stayed unsent.
16 was a bogey. 17 was a bogey. Standard stuff. But now, standing on 18, a par-4 that I'd played at least 40 times, I was +17 through 17.
I needed a bogey or better to break 90.
The Longest Walk
The 18th hole is 385 yards with water down the left side. On any normal day, I'd aim right-center and hit my standard fade — which is really a slice that I've given a more dignified name. But this wasn't a normal day.
My hands were shaking on the grip. I could feel my heartbeat in my fingers. This is a recreational sport played for fun and relaxation, and I was having a borderline cardiac event.
I hit the most careful, conservative, pathetic tee shot of my life. It went maybe 195 yards, dead center. I have never been prouder of a shot that traveled less than 200 yards.
Second shot: 190 yards to the center of the green. I grabbed a 5-hybrid, the most reliable club in my bag. The one that doesn't care about pressure. I swung smooth — maybe 80% — and watched it fly straight at the flag.
It landed in the front rough, 30 yards short of the green. Didn't matter. I was on the right hole, on the right side, with a chip and two putts for bogey.
The Putt
The chip was adequate. Not great, not terrible. It rolled about 4 feet past the hole. The kind of putt you'd normally lag in without a second thought. The kind of putt that now felt like it was 40 feet long on a surface made of ice.
I read the putt three times. It was straight. I knew it was straight. I'd read it the first time and confirmed it twice more because standing over it was better than actually hitting it.
I set the putter behind the ball. I took one more look at the hole. And I hit it.
It went in.
The ball dropped into the cup with the sweetest sound I've ever heard. Not the click of a perfect drive or the zip of a compressed iron shot. Just the quiet thunk of a ball finding the bottom of the hole when everything was on the line.
89.
The Aftermath
I picked the ball out of the hole like it was made of crystal. I shook my playing partner's hand. I walked to the cart and sat down and finally sent that text:
"89"
He called me immediately. I could hear him yelling before I put the phone to my ear.
That night, I entered the score in my app. I looked at the number. I looked at the scorecard I'd taken a photo of. I'd shot 89 and it wasn't a dream and nobody could take it away from me.
I slept like a baby.
Why It Matters
If you're a golfer who hasn't broken 90 yet — or 100, or 80, or whatever your barrier is — let me tell you something: it will happen. Not because you'll suddenly become a better golfer overnight, but because one day everything will just click for 18 holes. Your bad shots will be manageable. Your good shots will be good enough. And you'll walk off the 18th green knowing that you did it.
It won't be pretty. Mine wasn't. It will be messy and stressful and you'll question every swing from hole 12 onward. But it will be yours.
And that number? You'll remember it forever.
That's golf. That's why we play. Not for the score we shoot most often, but for the one we chase every single time we tee it up.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go try to break 85.